Cheers to health and wealth in this New Year!

Brown line ripping me away.
I said I would go

Go in the opposite direction as the traffic moving underneath.
All going home to their honeys and their cats,
home to couch lounging love.

But my obligations are ripping me away.

On the eve of this New Year don't let anything rip you away from love! Tonight is a night to let bygones be bygones. Tonight is a time to forget what you didn't get done yesterday and a time to remember what you want to get done tomorrow. Every day is a New Year, but for our purposes tomorrow really is! Do whatcha gotta do, cuz 09' is gonna be Soooo FINE!

Happy Monday! bluhhh

Here I sit broken hearted.
tried to poop but only farted!

Stuck in the Middle with Myself or Baby Beluga or Married to Neil Young

When I was small child I listened to a lot of Raffi. When I say a lot I mean like I wore out more than one Raffi tape and I was rock-n-rollin to Raffi until I was at least 11 years old. Ok who am I kidding I still love Raffi! I think I was embarrassed or something about music. The music I felt comfortable requesting was my kiddie music that was of course for me because, no shit, I was a kid. I have always really loved music of all types, but when was little I thought that listening to my parents music*(which I loved then and even more now) was something I had to hide. I was a weirdo I got embarrassed about a lot of stupid things from the ages 11-14!

I remember I used to sneak one of my mom's Beatles tapes, and listen to the whole thing every night as I lay "sleeping" in bed. I think back now and can't believe how strange that was, I didn't want my parents to know that I liked music or that my tastes were changing...that I was changing. I was embarrassed that I was growing up and that Raffi, though I still loved aaaples and bininis, was not cutting it anymore. Who knows maybe it was because I was the oldest, or maybe it was because even though parts of me had always been very adult other parts were so childish. I was still deathly afraid of the dark, and I would still pull the "whole I am asleep on the couch" bit so that my dad would carry me up to bed???

That was a weird time for me and I am sure I am not alone, but while other kids went through a gradual progression of weirdness into adulthood I hid those changes. I never liked New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys, Brittney, or NSync. I never got super big into the hip fashion trends of the 90's, nor did I run around obsessing over boys and trying to impress them. All of the stuff I was "supposed" to being doing embarrassed me because I think I always knew that stuff was "just a phase" and it would not matter when I “grew up”. I missed a lot of typical tween stuff by being an independently minded, tomboy, embarrassed first child.

I have never been one for the in-between stuff. I either wanted to be carried to bed by my dad or living in my own apartment, I either wanted to be childish or adultish. I never wanted to be in the middle and I never liked all that mucky ucky shit that comes with a transitional time (just ask my parents I was a strange and mean creature during those years). I, in a way, think that this is kind of how the post colligate 20 something years have been proving to be. I feel stuck in the middle and I do not like it at all!

I am embarrassed to say that I want to settle down, and uncomfortable partying every night. I have so many things I still want to accomplish, but I am sitting in a cubical. I am confused on what path to take, yet smart enough to know it will all work out for the best. When does it get worked out? When will it be the best? I am an old soul with a heart for adventure. I don't like to be bogged down with what I am "supposed" to be doing, it is not who I am. I am too “wise” to get fully caught up in 20 something supposed-to-be, but too chicken to fully break away and do what I want. Because though I never went to a NKOB concert, kissed a boy on the playground, owned a NSync CD, or made out at the “clubhouse” I was there and, I watched everyone get submerged in it all.

And so for now, I am once again in-between who I was and who I know I will be. I 'm here now and watching it all, but this time I am going to just have to make the best of it because stomping around and calling my mom a bitch just is not really that cool anymore (never really was)!


* These are a couple of songs I used to feel overly passionate about but too embarrassed to enjoy them with the people who introduced them to me. Great taste for an eleven year old might I add! I am not too embarrassed now... look em up, listen, enjoy for the rest of your life if not doing so already!

This Ol' House of Ours- Crosby Stills Nash and Young
Come Together- Beatles
All Along the Watch Tower- Hendrix
Bobby McGee- Janis
Yesterday- Beatles
Down by the River- Neil Young

Peace on Earth and Etsy for everyone!!!

It is up and running my friends! http://www.haleystewart.etsy.com/ yay!

I have been talking about starting an Etsy shop for about a year or so and well it has finally happened! Some things are things you talk about forever and never do, and some things are the things that you don't feel happy about yourself in less you actually DO. So I took my own advice and JUST did it! It is not perfect, and I am going over to my lovely cousin's on Sunday to make a better logo and banner (she has Adobe)!!! I have no clue how many people read this bigitty blog, but for those of you who do I need some criticism, so check out the site and hit me back with some of your great ideas!

I have so much more to list in the shop, and most of it is taking up space in the APT so check it and check it often!!!!

love

HLS

Chi Town is Colder Than

In WWII the bomber pilots and crew were able to find humor in painting the plane's name on the side of the craft. A silly inside joke between scared boys? Yes probably, but it is neat to think that in a time where jokes were probably few and far between that these guys were able to find the time to lighten the mood with humor! Now this is something a person like me can appreciate! Though I don't know much about my grandpa's experience in the war, I like to think of him in a plane such as The Witches Tit!

This particular plane was a B-17 Thunderbird and it flew 15 missions from Feb-June of 1943 before going MIA.

Warning this is the point where things get offensive...it's the Tipping Point!

I am reading a book entitled The Tipping Point. Is it very interesting and recommended by me to anyone who is interested in being more interesting. The book addresses the phenomenon of how things catch on. Trends, disease, ideas, campaigns, fundraisers, and sports are a HUGE part of our American culture, but just how do they catch on and at what point do they become an epidemic. Why the tipping point of course, The Tipping Point refers to the point at which an epidemic becomes, well, an epidemic. I could discuss so many outlandish fashion trends or the mass amounts of people in our country infected with the deadly HIV or AIDS that would surely get some panties in a bunch, but calm down this is HALELOUSTEW I am not here to talk about extremely serious and controversial issues!

OR am I....?

What I would like to know, is when exactly was the tipping point for ugly sweater Christmas parties? Everywhere I freaking look someone is having one, attending one, planning one, talking about one, blogging about one, facebooking about one, posting pictures of one, ok you get the point. POINT? At what point did it become cool to make or buy (a girl at my work spent 45 dollars for her nasty holiday sweater) absurdly hideous sweaters and have a party based around this theme? I will admit when I first heard about it I thought "oh that is a super funny and totally rad idea", but now that everyone and there mother has had one or been to one I have checked my vote in the played out box! Here is the thing, things are only super funny and totally rad until they blow up into a full on epidemic. As any true trend setters will tell you (NO they won’t because true trend setters don’t try to set trends they try to break them, and most of them don't even know they are doing it so therefore would never be able to tell you about it) that they wear, think, do what they do to try and break the mold of existing trends by wearing, thinking, and doing things that they like and not what is currently popular! Whoa.

I am all for themed parties, but this is getting CRAZY people. It is kinda like the ever popular college parties, Pimpin N Ho'n and White Trash bashin got kind of boring after hmmm, yep freshman year! So let's call three years ago freshman year for ugly sweater x-mas parties…we are seniors now and the time has come to opp for something more original! I know that it is hard to come up with fun and new party ideas so I have made a small list to help people out, and I swear if you take these ideas I will not call you a copy cat or theme party idea stealer. I would love if we could just, some how some way, get away from the ugly sweater trend that has now become an epidemic of mass proportions.


1. Jingle Bells Batman Smells party. You decorate with festive nests with robin's eggs cause you know Robin did lay an egg. For dress code the men have to paint their balls like the silver bells on a reindeer’s harness, and for the smelly batmen just make some masks and invite some bums off the street in for a night of fun! You are helping the community and having fun with nudity!

2. Christmas Vacation Murder Mystery party. It’s a cool little party that involves some thought, so don’t get too drunk on eggnog. In the movie it is Uncle Lewis who lights the tree on fire therefore assumed to have killed Aunt Bethany’s cat, but that is where you are wrong. Lewis is the host/hostess and everyone else dresses up for an anything goes who dunit. I call cousin Eddie!

3. Walkin in a Women's Underwear party. Very simple and yet very neat. Just everyone man or woman wear their favorite women's undergarments. If you would like to add to the excitement you could go to a meadow and build a snowman?

4. For those of you who are a little bit more on the classy side and not so into bums, dead animals and nudity, A 1940's Holiday Galla. Everyone dresses similar to the garb going down with Bing Crosby, Fred Astaire and Marjorie Reynolds circa Holiday Inn 1942. This would be a good themed party to get all the gents dressed up in a black tie that is not puffy painted on a sick white sweatshirt that is conveniently mocking an adorable Christmas penguin.

5. Or if none of these theme party ideas fly your kite, then you could always do the, also played out but not as bad, Bad Santa party. Men dress as good ol' St. Nick and the gals dress as his Ho Ho Ho's. It really works best if each Santa does in fact have three woman sluted out and passing out red and green jello shots. Oh and of course Santa's bag is full of condoms (your local college student center should be able to hook it up).

Wow that was fun and fulfilling, I love coming up with my own party ideas! You can do it too I promise it was not very hard, but if you are short on time again these are up for the taking party people!

SERIOUSLY Just Do It!

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

So, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and as the song says you should go take a look at the five and ten because it is glistening once again! Ha! I don't even know what a five and ten is, but my guess is that it is an old timer townie store with crazy amounts of tinsel strewn all over. Chi town is very pretty this time of year and I'm hoping that it will soon start to sink in with everyone that it is supposed to also be a time of year where kindness prevails and rude behavior is kicked to the curb. So far no luck, but hey it is still just the third of December.

As for me, Christmas this year = lots of work ahead! I am making my gifts this year and I need to get on that, or else everyone is going to wind up with crap I nabbed from around the house and slapped a bow on. I have some great ideas brewing and it is my hope that this December these brain creations will become real life (not alive... come on now who am I Frankenstein) giftable sellable creations. I will hopefully have my online shop up and running by the end of the month so when I go home for the holidays I can spread the word to spread the word to all of my lovely family members and friends.

Things I need to do:

Decorate for this wonderful holiday
Make about 50 more things
Buy eggnog
Drink eggnog
Hit up some Christmas parties
Not get so mad at the rude scrooges around town
Not be a rude scrooge

MOST IMPORTANTLY GET THE SHOP UP AND RUNNING!

Thank you and goodnight 8 )

I Have Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

Today I took a tumble. No not down the stairs, and no I did not lose the baby. AND NO I am not pregnant, I just am being melodramatic because I watched Gone With the Wind last night. That Scarlette O'Hara will really get ya!

Anyway, I fell down today. For those of you who know me, you know that this is not all too uncommon. I have gotten better with old age, but I fall a lot. I trip over my own feet, and forget to catch myslef on the way down. But I come from a place where when a girl trips (not just an akward stumble) and falls down you help her up, especially if you are a guy. COME ON people it is just common decency! I am late too, I have a meeting to catch too, but for crying out loud are you serious? Five or six adult men walked right past me today as I lay on the ground scrambling for my belongings (of course my purse was and is always unzipped). Why oh why are people so lame?

No one helped me, but I angerily helped myself and in this case I do not believe I am better for it!

Is this normal?

So I know everyone and their mother's talking about Twilight and it has become somewhat gag worthy, but I saw the movie yesterday and well let's just say I am officially obsessed! I loved the books in an unhealthy, addicting, and obsessive way so it is no surprise that I have made a Twilight construction paper chain that is counting down the arrival of the next movie. I am well aware of how the author beats certain themes and descriptions into the ground (more like earth's core) but the movie is not like that. Though I do love the books and recommend them to everyone I meet, the movie is truly something to marvel at. It is just plain out AWESOME! No joke, anyone and their mother would love this movie. It is well shot, well casted, and well, again it is just awesome!

I haven't had this kind of a crush on a fictional character since Pacey (ok so there have been Michael Scofield and Vincent Chase but they pale in comparison EC), and all I want is more, more, more! I love Edward Cullen and everything that he has to do with. They, of course, never talk about it in the books or the first movie, but I am willing to bet my human life on the fact that his most powerful weapon is underneath those totally sexy jeans of his. I have lived my whole life loving my name, but now I can honestly say I would have no problem being Kristen Stewart instead of Haley Stewart!

I heart fictional characters! I have sex dreams that involve fictional characters. Is this normal?

World Serious

Last night a baseball team won the WORLD SERIES! Was it the Chicago Cubs? ummm hmmmm let me think??? NO! It was not the Chicago Cubbies! It was not the dream team of 08' and it was not that fun to watch or hear about!

At my house (the house of baseball) my little brother once called the World Series the World Serious, and so of course that is what we call it. The fact that we call it this actually says a lot about the way we view the event, and that is probably why the term stuck around over the years. It is a serious affair for baseball fans and it is serious let down that the cubbies didn't make it(not even close)!

The World Serious is over and winter is on it's way and quite frankly this is just not how I had planned spending my October. I am mad at the Cubs, I am mad at the Phillies, and I am mad at baseball!

A Question for the Squatters

Here is the thing; I know that I am not normal. I figured it out at a very young age and, shortly after a very quick stint of embarrassment, I fully embodied the fact that I was different. I am proud to see the world through my own eyes, and pretty much always have been. I am proud that I grew up free to express myself, and that my family is out of the ordinary. All this being said, I will get to my point of this particular post.

At my house we ARE NOT germ-a-phobes not even a little bit. I come from the a place where the phrase "a little dirt never hurt anyone" meant if your hotdog is covered in dirt, grass, and ants dust it off and put it back on the bun. So needless to say, I have developed this mentality towards life as well. I don't even know or care how many countless germs I have probably consumed over the years; I truly believe that I have a stronger immune system because of it. Buuuuuuut...This does not mean that when I go to the bathroom I enjoy sitting down on other people's urine.

I understand all people are not like me. I understand that some people no matter where they are (probably even in their own freaking house) squat above the toilet when using the bathroom so not to have to be touched someone else's germs. I hear that theory! But now here mine, the people that are freaked out by germs and squat over the toilet are the ones spraying their urine everywhere (which is just sick). That is a fact! Never once in my life, not even when I had a super strong stream going, have I sprayed my urine all over the seat if I was sitting down. Now, I have been to some pretty seedy places where I have consciously made the decision not to sit down on the seat and accidentally had some spray action. When I do this I always, I mean always, clean up after myself just in case the next person was to make the opposite decision of myself and sit down. It is just SICK when germ freaks pee all over the seat, then get up and leave the bathroom with out cleaning the damage they have done. Those of us who disregard germs as tiny things we can't see, therefore they can't hurt you, therefore I don’t even let them usually cross my mind, trust me on this one, are NEVER the ones squatting and spraying! If by slight chance these said people were to be abnormally grossed out by a specific bathroom's appearance of cleanliness and they happened to squat, I am pretty damn sure that they would clean afterwards.

So here is my question to all of the "germ-a-phobes" out there: If you are so afraid of consuming, seeing, sitting on, touching, or being around germs then, WHY ARE YOU PEEING ON THE TOLIET SEAT?

Trials and tribulations of DOING!

I like to say I will DO, but when it comes down to it I DON'T. Why why why? Why do I say I will work out, and then don't even go for one run? Why do a say I will volunteer at a soup kitchen and then don't go more then two times? Why do I take the time to start up a blog site and then don't write on it?

It makes no sense; I never used to be this way. When I was a girl I was involved in every imaginable thing. I played every sport under the sun, I danced until my feet were bloody, I went to church retreats and mouthed those dreadful Jesus songs, I had friends galore, and I even had a family that played and went fun places together. The older I got the busier I got. Throw a boyfriend or two into the mix plus painting, pets, volunteering, plays, clubs, and school I was one busy person! I was not forced to spread myself thin, I chose to. I liked being well rounded. I prided myself in being multi-faceted and I liked the idea of having friends outside of my "crew". But then... then something happened.

I went to COLLEGE. I went to parties. I went to bars. I stopped doing things. I started sleeping. I started sleeping all the damn time! I stopped trying to branch out in every which way, and became content with rooting myself to my bed. I not only became content, but I became happy as a clam(I love to sleep)! Now my daily schedule was full of don'ting instead of doing, and I loved not doing every second of it! I was burnt out and I needed a break from the doing. I needed to drink, sleep, eat, drink some more, and sleep some more. I needed to hang…to JUST hang out for a while. That break, that hanging was supposed to last for four years, and then it was presumable that I would graduate and get right back into doing. Doing the things one does with a degree and a pocket full of unattended, festering talents and interests. The plan was to gradually start back to doing the things that used to consume my every waking breath; to wean myself from sleeping 15 hours a day. But then something happened again…

Two years went by in the blink of a freaking eye, and my habit of don’ting was much harder to break then I had ever anticipated. I became stuck! I would truly like to start cultivating some of my lost talents, I would like to get back in shape, I would like to volunteer, and paint, and sew, and dance…but I don’t.

Now and Then, life makes you miss the then!

This was a letter to my lovely girl friends. I have been fortunate enough to make and keep some lasting friendships, and I absolutely love each and everyone one of them!

Hi friends of mine I love you all very dearly and miss you all a lot today. I am hung over and I am at work and I hung out with two of my fav people last night and kinda wish I could rewind and do it all again and again. Life is getting jumbled and we are all getting older and wiser and braver which are all good things, but I miss the days before hangovers. I miss playing king of the raft until we are all bloody and in love with one of “the boys”. I want my mom to come here and drive me around town, cook for me, and pay my way. I miss slumber parties and Laurie’s basement. I miss my water bed and Hans and little blondie brothers. I want to ride the tandem around town, I want to swim ALL day long, I want to go to A&W, I want to be fast again and play under the lights at Westwood. Sometimes I miss the college days and Carbondale but today I miss being a kid and hanging out with my friends! When Petra puts the finishing touches on our time machine that we have been working on I am buying a pack of sparklers, putting on my swimsuit, grabbin a bag of Swedish fish, and headin back to 1995!

Love ya, -Haley