Trials and tribulations of DOING!

I like to say I will DO, but when it comes down to it I DON'T. Why why why? Why do I say I will work out, and then don't even go for one run? Why do a say I will volunteer at a soup kitchen and then don't go more then two times? Why do I take the time to start up a blog site and then don't write on it?

It makes no sense; I never used to be this way. When I was a girl I was involved in every imaginable thing. I played every sport under the sun, I danced until my feet were bloody, I went to church retreats and mouthed those dreadful Jesus songs, I had friends galore, and I even had a family that played and went fun places together. The older I got the busier I got. Throw a boyfriend or two into the mix plus painting, pets, volunteering, plays, clubs, and school I was one busy person! I was not forced to spread myself thin, I chose to. I liked being well rounded. I prided myself in being multi-faceted and I liked the idea of having friends outside of my "crew". But then... then something happened.

I went to COLLEGE. I went to parties. I went to bars. I stopped doing things. I started sleeping. I started sleeping all the damn time! I stopped trying to branch out in every which way, and became content with rooting myself to my bed. I not only became content, but I became happy as a clam(I love to sleep)! Now my daily schedule was full of don'ting instead of doing, and I loved not doing every second of it! I was burnt out and I needed a break from the doing. I needed to drink, sleep, eat, drink some more, and sleep some more. I needed to hang…to JUST hang out for a while. That break, that hanging was supposed to last for four years, and then it was presumable that I would graduate and get right back into doing. Doing the things one does with a degree and a pocket full of unattended, festering talents and interests. The plan was to gradually start back to doing the things that used to consume my every waking breath; to wean myself from sleeping 15 hours a day. But then something happened again…

Two years went by in the blink of a freaking eye, and my habit of don’ting was much harder to break then I had ever anticipated. I became stuck! I would truly like to start cultivating some of my lost talents, I would like to get back in shape, I would like to volunteer, and paint, and sew, and dance…but I don’t.